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ASTERIX and OBELIX
IN BRITAIN
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We've been through hard times.
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We've often believed,
and then had to unbelieve.
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Can you say that?
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But today,
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we're on an even keel.
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Believe me,
we're going to recover our losses!
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Ship to starboard!
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Ship to starboard!
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Up and at 'em!
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What did I tell you?
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Over here, my dears.
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What the...
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At your stations!
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Raise the sails!
Get your oars out!
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Hurry!
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Too late.
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Up and at 'em!
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Can anyone tell me what that was?
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This my friends, this majestic sight,
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is the most powerful army
that's ever existed.
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It carries Rome's name
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to the frontiers of the known world.
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At its head
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is one man.
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A supreme leader.
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A warrior who conquered Helvetia,
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drove back the Germans,
crushed the Gauls,
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and who will now conquer an island
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called Britannia.
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Britain!
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This conquest, my friends,
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is not merely one more laurel
in Caesar's crown.
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This conquest
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is the gift of the Roman people
to Britain's natives.
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A barbarian people
who dwell in ignorance,
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to whom we will bring
the benefits of Western civilisation.
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By golly, this is a jolly rum thing,
eh what?
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I say, rather, old fruit.
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Britain is inhabited
by a mysterious people
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who have one very curious custom:
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at five in the afternoon,
everything comes to a halt.
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Push! Push!
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Hold on.
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Why do they do this, O Caesar?
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To drink hot Water.
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Hot water?
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Their favourite beverage.
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A cup of hot water?
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Gladly. With a cloud of milk, please.
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We shall attack the Britons
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every day at five o'clock on the dot.
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I promise you,
this will be our quickest victory ever!
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I say, we should sound the alarm.
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Wouldn't it be preferable to run?
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Of course.
But a gentleman never runs.
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No, not there.
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Not there either.
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Perfect.
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Clear this away, please.
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And send for Sir Jolitorax.
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Yes, Your Majesty.
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With his underhanded methods,
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Mr. Caesar has almost annihilated
our army.
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Behave, children.
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But every remaining free man is here now
and we shall battle to the end.
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All the same, Jolitorax,
I wonder
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if we can hold out
against the Roman legions forever.
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One village has managed this feat.
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Really?
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Yes. They say its inhabitants
have held out
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thanks to a magic potion
that makes them invincible.
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If Her Majesty allows,
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I shall go and ask them
for help in person.
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That's a jolly good idea, Jolitorax.
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Where is this remarkable village?
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Well?
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In Gaul, Your Majesty.
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You want to seek help from the Gauls?
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Mightn't it be preferable
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to be invaded?
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Ok for the Gauls.
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Jolly good luck, Jolitorax.
And all that sort of thing.
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Goudurix...
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It's time to wake up.
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- Should we start?
- Start what?
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- Bashing him around.
- Obelix...
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Our leader Abraracourcix entrusted us
with his nephew Goudurix.
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To make a man out of him!
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It won't happen if we don't bash him.
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Obelix, those old-fashioned methods
aren't for us.
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Patience, psychology,
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and a gentle guiding hand.
That's our method.
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The lad will blossom into
a responsible man we can be proud of.
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- So do we bash him or not?
- No.
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Goudurix,
we wake up early in the country.
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In Lutetia this is when I go to bed.
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So get lost, bumpkins,
I won't move from this bed.
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Obelix...
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What? I used psychology.
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I didn't bash him around.
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He didn't want to move?
The bed moved.
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- You guys are crazy!
- It isn't fun for us.
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It's for your own good. Let's go.
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I've got to get dressed
and do my hair first.
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Goudurix, you've been in there
for two hours!
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Should I use some more psychology?
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Come on.
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Your hair's just the same.
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No way. Before it wasn't done.
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This is the "undone done" look.
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It takes a lot of work.
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Ok, let's go to the forest.
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Exercise No. 1:
"How to whip Romans."
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What?
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Violence is for the weak.
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What did you say?
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Sorry, Asterix, I lost control.
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It's only human.
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And at least
it didn't mess up your hair!
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- You guys are crazy!
- No.
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Come on, follow us.
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With a little luck, We'll find a patrol.
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There aren't many Romans left,
they're all in Britain...
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Where'd he go?
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I'm lucky to live in Lutetia.
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But I needed a change of scenery
so I came to the country.
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I think it'll help my songwriting.
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I'm a bard.
Hey, you just gave me an idea!
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Really?
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I'll build ye a dolmen
Where love will reign
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Where love is everything
And you'll be my queen...
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How pretty!
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That's because you inspired it.
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Excuse me,
you're not here to court pretty girls
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but to become a man.
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Hey, morons,
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a man isn't necessarily
a thick-headed brute.
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A man can be someone sensitive
who can say "I love you",
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who's not afraid to cry.
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Oh, how true!
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So if you'd kindly blow off, peasants.
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No, let me.
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I say. I believe I've found
the right place.
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You've travelled far, British friend.
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What can I offer you?
Wild boar? A beer?
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A cup of hot water, please.
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Is that all?
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With a cloud of milk. Thank you.
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Asterix, Obelix,
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meet Jolitorax.
He's just arrived from Britain
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to seek our help
against the Roman invader.
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Hullo.
Please, shake me by the hand.
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- Obelix!
- Obelix, behave!
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- He said to shake him.
- He's a Brit. They talk different.
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Are you ok?
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Jolly good show.
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What strength!
I suppose it's the magic potion?
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Obelix fell in it as a baby.
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Not again...
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I
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with that strength,
we'd easily beat the Romans, eh what!
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- Why do you keep saying "what"?
- Say what's what?
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I asked Panoramix
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to prepare some magic potion.
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That's a lot of potion.
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That is why you and Obelix
will escort him.
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It mustn't fall into enemy hands.
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We're going to Britain!
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There'll be brand new Romans.
And to be honest,
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I won't miss your nephew.
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Goudurix is coming with us.
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With Idefix, there won't be room!
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It's the opportunity
to perfect his education.
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No...
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Chief?
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He said no.
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He says you're too little.
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It's too far and there's no room.
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He'd rather we take that imbecile...
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We'll be back soon.
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We give them the barrel: hello, goodbye.
And that's it.
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You won't miss much.
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Yes, there'll be lots of Romans.
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But you know,
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Romans are like oysters,
too many make you sick.
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Be good.
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Watch over the house.
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I'm counting on you.
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I didn't join the legion for this.
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I joined to serve Rome,
not arrest illegal alienus all clay long.
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Caesar said: for the empire's stability,
migratory flows must be controlled.
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And what does that mean?
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It means, uh...
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Look, orders are orders. Don't argue.
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Caught red-handed!
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What?
Gauls can go to the beach.
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I smell illegal alienus.
Let's check their ID.
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- Count me out.
- What?
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It's a bum rap.
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To each his own sense of duty.
It's your conscience.
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Roman legion, border control!
Show me your papyrus.
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Here.
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- That's the old model.
- Oh yeah?
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The new ones are stone.
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00:16:13,474 --> 00:16:15,851
Impossible to forge.
There're too many fakes.
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What's in the barrel?
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00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:20,606
The problem with Romans
is that they're overeager.
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Talking about me?
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Jolitorax,
it's time you tested the potion.
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00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:26,695
What's that?
212
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,572
One second, please.
213
00:16:43,462 --> 00:16:47,257
I may lack a sense of duty,
but when it comes to survival...
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00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:14,785
- Well?
- They're holding out.
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00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:16,704
BY Jupiter!
216
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,748
My sapiens has its limits!
217
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:22,626
You mean your patience?
218
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:26,130
No, my sapiens. Wisdom.
Don't you speak Latin?
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00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:30,718
I'm asking the Senate
for reinforcements.
220
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:31,510
Ave, Caesar!
221
00:17:31,677 --> 00:17:34,138
A delegation of senators
is requesting an audience.
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00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:38,976
Extraordinary! I think of the Senate
and the Senate comes to me.
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00:17:39,852 --> 00:17:42,521
I'm popular with the gods!
Show them in
224
00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:45,399
and prepare a little orgy.
They'll like that.
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00:17:48,152 --> 00:17:48,819
Ave,
226
00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:51,238
honourable members of the Senate.
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00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,656
It is a privilege...
228
00:17:52,823 --> 00:17:53,907
Ave, Caesar.
229
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,493
Senator Lucius Fouinus.
230
00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:01,665
The Senate commissioned us
to audit your accounts.
231
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,083
To do what?
232
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,919
Audit your accounts. It's Latin.
It means...
233
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,172
I know what it means!
234
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:11,842
I've looked at your books.
They're not very clear.
235
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:13,886
Oh really?
236
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,679
For example...
237
00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:19,308
This expense of 20,000 sesterces
238
00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:20,768
for a round-trip journey
239
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:24,313
- Alexandria-Londinium -
by private galley.
240
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,149
Cleopatra came for the weekend.
241
00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:29,902
Can't Cleopatra take a regular boat?
242
00:18:30,778 --> 00:18:32,571
She is the Queen of Egypt.
243
00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:35,532
Then why doesn't Egypt pay?
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00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,579
My men and I will examine this.
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00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:43,332
I hope no one will try to influence us.
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00:18:43,499 --> 00:18:45,042
I wouldn't dream of it.
247
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:47,002
The Senators' orgy is ready.
248
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,545
Should I call the girls?
249
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,600
What about our reinforcements?
250
00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:08,106
Forgive me, O Great Caesar,
but I might have an idea.
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I'm listening.
252
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:15,197
Why not use our secret funds
to hire mercenaries
253
00:19:15,364 --> 00:19:16,782
to do our dirty work?
254
00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:21,870
Supposing such "secret funds" existed...
255
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,623
Who do you have in mind?
256
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,626
The worst barbarians of all, Caesar.
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00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:29,795
The Normans.
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00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,548
A fearsome people from the North
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00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:36,093
where the snow never melts
and it's dark for six months.
260
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:40,430
These merciless warriors
who drink from their enemies' skulls
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00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,765
have one particularity...
262
00:19:42,933 --> 00:19:44,685
they do not know fear!
263
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,418
What's your name?
264
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:14,047
Megacursus, O Noble Caesar,
to honour and serve you.
265
00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:19,469
Well, Megacursus,
go find the Normans and hire them.
266
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:22,306
If you succeed in this mission,
267
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,725
you'll be a rich man.
268
00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:27,144
And now let's enjoy that orgy.
269
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:28,979
- I despise waste.
- Me too?
270
00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:32,107
No. You'll get an orgy-basket
for your trip.
271
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,330
Why did you
272
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:47,789
desert me
273
00:20:48,749 --> 00:20:52,836
Why did you abandon me
274
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,380
Why did you ditch me...
275
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:57,424
I understand why.
276
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:03,013
Why is it all over
277
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:06,016
Why did you leave me...
278
00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:08,352
You're giving me a headache.
279
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:11,355
- I'm expressing myself.
- I'll express a bashing!
280
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:13,690
Obelix, patience and psychology.
281
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:16,026
Goudurix, what do you want to be?
282
00:21:16,193 --> 00:21:17,444
I want to be a bard.
283
00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:20,030
But the old man wants me
to be a druid.
284
00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:22,449
Druid is a fascinating profession.
285
00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:25,202
Yeah right, 60 years of schooling.
No thanks.
286
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,957
What's a British hunk?
287
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:32,501
A tourist!
288
00:21:36,922 --> 00:21:38,548
Don't take it personally.
289
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:42,678
It's because in Gaul
we say that the Brits are kind of...
290
00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:46,181
I mean, you're not very...
291
00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:53,105
What about you?
How do the Britons see us?
292
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:57,275
I say. We find you arrogant,
293
00:21:58,110 --> 00:22:01,321
loudmouthed, lecherous,
294
00:22:01,822 --> 00:22:04,866
cowardly, uncultivated...
295
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,868
and dirty.
296
00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:14,501
Why did you forsake me...
297
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:18,296
Stop bleating like a lamb,
you'll never become a man.
298
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,298
What's a man in your book?
299
00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:24,219
Two guys like you
who live together with a little dog?
300
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:26,555
I'll kill him.
301
00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:30,559
We promised the chief
we'd bring him back safe and sound.
302
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:32,436
Calm down.
303
00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:37,232
In Britain, two men living together
is quite common.
304
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,610
That's not the same thing.
305
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:43,780
I think there's
a little misunderstanding.
306
00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:46,658
We don't live together,
we share lodgings.
307
00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:49,786
It's more like we're roommates.
308
00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:53,415
It's like co-workers
who have the same hours.
309
00:22:53,582 --> 00:22:55,834
It's a question of practicality.
310
00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:03,383
I never Would've left you
311
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:05,802
I never would've gone...
312
00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:16,605
Bless you, Obelix.
313
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:18,940
It wasn't me.
314
00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:25,697
Sorry.
315
00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:30,786
I'm sorry to impose my presence on you
in your jolly-boat, noble travellers.
316
00:23:30,952 --> 00:23:32,412
But I must reach Britain
317
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:36,249
and regular boat lines
don't like illegal alienus like me.
318
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:39,377
I say, he is original, eh what?
319
00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:40,754
Don't worry,
320
00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:44,341
when we land,
I'll depart and bother you no more.
321
00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:45,801
You're no bother.
322
00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:48,220
But why Britain, mister...?
323
00:23:48,386 --> 00:23:50,680
Pindepis. My name is Pindepis.
324
00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:54,476
I come from a poor,
distant land in the Ganges Valley.
325
00:23:54,643 --> 00:23:58,688
They say you can get rich in Britain,
so I decided to try my luck.
326
00:23:58,855 --> 00:23:59,940
What's that?
327
00:24:01,775 --> 00:24:04,694
A plant from back home.
It grows all over.
328
00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:07,155
I feel less lonely with it.
329
00:24:08,073 --> 00:24:10,450
So please don't throw me overboard.
330
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:11,451
I can't swim!
331
00:24:22,838 --> 00:24:24,214
I'm hungry.
332
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:28,343
Me too.
333
00:24:31,263 --> 00:24:33,682
I say, I believe we have a message.
334
00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:38,019
Your Majesty, a message from Jolitorax.
335
00:24:38,812 --> 00:24:39,729
What does he say?
336
00:24:41,022 --> 00:24:43,984
"Your Majesty, I have the pleasure
of informing you
337
00:24:44,151 --> 00:24:46,736
that the barrel
has reached British soil."
338
00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:48,530
"Faithfully yours, Jolitorax."
339
00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:51,700
Excellent news. Isn't it, dears?
340
00:25:32,908 --> 00:25:34,910
Hey dudes, hiking isn't my thing.
341
00:25:35,368 --> 00:25:38,121
- If you want to become a man...
- Drop it.
342
00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:43,835
I say. A calm and peaceful spot
to have a bite to eat.
343
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:47,464
I hope they have wild boar.
344
00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:50,759
JOLLY BOAR INN
345
00:25:57,224 --> 00:25:58,433
Hullo.
346
00:25:59,100 --> 00:25:59,893
Hullo.
347
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,561
Would you like supper?
348
00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:05,690
Yes, rather.
We'd like four orders of boar.
349
00:26:05,857 --> 00:26:08,568
Of course. Go sit over there.
350
00:26:13,823 --> 00:26:14,991
Hullo.
351
00:26:44,604 --> 00:26:46,189
Is that their boar?
352
00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:47,857
Doesn't look jolly to me.
353
00:26:48,024 --> 00:26:49,442
It's a British delicacy:
354
00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:52,529
boiled boar with mint sauce.
355
00:26:52,696 --> 00:26:54,197
Delicious.
356
00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:56,283
Why does it smell like fish?
357
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:59,119
Because we always boil it
with cod liver.
358
00:26:59,286 --> 00:27:01,413
Otherwise it would have no taste.
359
00:27:02,205 --> 00:27:03,456
Poor beast.
360
00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:12,215
Ave.
361
00:27:12,716 --> 00:27:14,634
We're looking for Gauls
362
00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:16,803
who disembarked illegally.
363
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:32,235
Ave. Last name, first name,
profession and place of residence.
364
00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:34,279
But of course.
365
00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:37,574
We're British merchants
on a business trip.
366
00:27:37,741 --> 00:27:41,036
My name is Jolitorax,
and this is Asterax.
367
00:27:41,202 --> 00:27:41,828
Hullo.
368
00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:44,080
Obelax...
369
00:27:44,247 --> 00:27:46,499
- Hello.
- No. "Hullo".
370
00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:48,835
- Hello.
- One second. "Hullo".
371
00:27:51,129 --> 00:27:52,505
No, "hullo".
372
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:54,341
It's a short "u".
373
00:27:54,507 --> 00:27:55,884
Hullo.
374
00:27:56,551 --> 00:27:57,719
That's it.
375
00:27:58,678 --> 00:28:00,847
And my nephew... Pain-in-the-ax.
376
00:28:01,014 --> 00:28:02,974
The poor boy is mute.
377
00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:09,981
Soldiers! Search the inn!
378
00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:12,275
Enjoy your meal, Britons.
379
00:28:29,417 --> 00:28:33,004
I don't know
how you can eat that stuff...
380
00:28:33,171 --> 00:28:34,381
You Britons.
381
00:28:37,884 --> 00:28:39,511
Nothing to report, sir.
382
00:28:41,054 --> 00:28:42,764
Good evening, gentlemen.
383
00:28:43,056 --> 00:28:44,432
Have a good journey.
384
00:28:53,066 --> 00:28:54,359
By Toutatis!
385
00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:55,985
In the name of Rome,
386
00:28:56,152 --> 00:28:58,530
surrender, Gauls!
387
00:29:25,473 --> 00:29:27,642
Bravo! Good job blending in.
388
00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:29,394
It's not my fault.
389
00:29:29,561 --> 00:29:32,522
Wild boar with cod liver is inhuman.
390
00:29:32,689 --> 00:29:35,066
You're right, it's not your fault.
391
00:29:35,233 --> 00:29:37,735
It never has been
and probably never will.
392
00:29:38,027 --> 00:29:39,946
Are you trying to be nice?
393
00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:41,197
You know what?
394
00:29:41,364 --> 00:29:44,033
Even when you're around, I feel lonely.
395
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,911
I'm intellectually undernourished.
396
00:29:47,078 --> 00:29:48,371
Come on, we get on.
397
00:29:48,538 --> 00:29:49,956
No. I put up with you.
398
00:29:50,123 --> 00:29:54,085
I knock myself out
for a walking calamity, a curse,
399
00:29:54,252 --> 00:29:56,004
a natural disaster named Obelix.
400
00:29:56,171 --> 00:29:57,755
And what do I get?
401
00:29:58,631 --> 00:29:59,424
Nothing.
402
00:29:59,591 --> 00:30:03,428
I sacrifice myself for nothing.
So you see, I'm fed up.
403
00:30:04,012 --> 00:30:04,804
Frankly,
404
00:30:04,971 --> 00:30:08,475
"two guys who live together
with a little dog" isn't for me.
405
00:30:08,725 --> 00:30:10,894
What've you got against Idefix?
406
00:30:11,728 --> 00:30:13,730
I need to meet someone.
407
00:30:14,063 --> 00:30:14,689
Who?
408
00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:18,526
Who knows! But it'll never happen
with you clinging to me.
409
00:30:20,111 --> 00:30:21,488
What's his problem?
410
00:30:21,946 --> 00:30:24,574
He has to meet someone
but he doesn't know who.
411
00:30:24,741 --> 00:30:26,659
So of course he's irritable.
412
00:30:35,627 --> 00:30:37,837
Caesar was very clear,
413
00:30:38,004 --> 00:30:40,715
if you wipe out
the village of British rebels,
414
00:30:40,882 --> 00:30:42,592
he'll shower you with gold.
415
00:30:43,259 --> 00:30:45,303
Gold only brings luxury
416
00:30:45,470 --> 00:30:47,889
and luxury weakens men's spirits.
417
00:30:49,182 --> 00:30:51,768
Is that what you want, Roman?
To weaken us?
418
00:30:52,477 --> 00:30:54,896
Not on my life, Grossebaf.
419
00:30:57,982 --> 00:31:02,153
Only fear could tempt us
to travel to this country.
420
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,571
Fear?
421
00:31:03,738 --> 00:31:06,533
Even the weakest nations know fear.
But not us!
422
00:31:06,699 --> 00:31:08,034
Not us!
423
00:31:10,245 --> 00:31:12,038
Yet we've tried everything.
424
00:31:13,373 --> 00:31:15,416
We've carried out experiments...
425
00:31:16,167 --> 00:31:16,793
Well?
426
00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:19,712
Still more pain than fear.
427
00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:26,094
We've tried to instil it
in our infants...
428
00:31:30,723 --> 00:31:32,225
Without' success.
429
00:31:32,392 --> 00:31:33,851
Fear escapes us.
430
00:31:34,018 --> 00:31:35,353
By Odin, we want to know it!
431
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,980
We want to know it!
432
00:31:38,273 --> 00:31:39,274
But why?
433
00:31:39,983 --> 00:31:41,651
He asks why...
434
00:31:44,821 --> 00:31:47,991
Everyone knows
that fear gives you wings, Roman!
435
00:31:48,157 --> 00:31:51,744
And my warriors and I dream of flying.
Like birds.
436
00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:56,416
Then you're in luck.
437
00:31:56,583 --> 00:31:59,335
Britons are the most fearful people
in the world.
438
00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:00,628
They are?
439
00:32:01,004 --> 00:32:02,422
Yes, of course.
440
00:32:02,589 --> 00:32:05,675
Every time you ask them a question,
they answer:
441
00:32:05,842 --> 00:32:08,678
"I'm afraid that..." or "I fear that..."
442
00:32:10,305 --> 00:32:11,389
Then it's decided!
443
00:32:11,556 --> 00:32:13,933
By Odin, We're sailing for Britain!
444
00:32:23,026 --> 00:32:24,277
Gentlemen...
445
00:32:24,902 --> 00:32:27,322
Welcome to Londinium.
446
00:33:54,575 --> 00:33:57,328
The Romans are looking for us.
Let's hide the barrel.
447
00:33:57,495 --> 00:33:58,621
Good idea. But where?
448
00:33:58,996 --> 00:34:03,167
Use your heads. Where is the best place
to hide a tree? A forest.
449
00:34:03,334 --> 00:34:05,503
So the best place to hide a barrel?
450
00:34:05,670 --> 00:34:07,046
A forest?
451
00:34:08,548 --> 00:34:09,674
A...?
452
00:34:09,841 --> 00:34:11,008
A forest...
453
00:34:11,509 --> 00:34:14,095
An inn!
With other barrels.
454
00:34:14,262 --> 00:34:14,887
Excellent
455
00:34:15,054 --> 00:34:17,140
I know just the place.
456
00:34:22,854 --> 00:34:25,440
Cousin Jolitorax,
fearfully pleased to see you.
457
00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:27,400
I say, me too, Relax.
458
00:34:27,567 --> 00:34:31,112
But let's not get emotional.
I'm on a mission for the Queen.
459
00:34:31,487 --> 00:34:34,365
I'll bid farewell to my wife
and I'm yours.
460
00:34:34,532 --> 00:34:38,077
Not necessary. We only want
to hide this barrel with yours.
461
00:34:38,369 --> 00:34:41,706
I see. Easy as pie.
We'll put it in the cellar.
462
00:34:41,873 --> 00:34:42,874
Follow me.
463
00:34:53,926 --> 00:34:55,511
One stout, please.
464
00:34:57,263 --> 00:34:59,515
The energy in this town is amazing.
465
00:35:00,099 --> 00:35:00,725
Excuse me?
466
00:35:00,892 --> 00:35:05,229
The energy here is amazing.
You feel like anything's possible.
467
00:35:05,396 --> 00:35:06,105
Yeah, maybe.
468
00:35:06,272 --> 00:35:09,317
No, it's true. I'm from Lutetia.
It's dead in comparison.
469
00:35:09,484 --> 00:35:11,486
It's stuck in a time warp.
470
00:35:11,652 --> 00:35:13,571
- You're from Lutetia?
- Yeah.
471
00:35:14,071 --> 00:35:16,866
Well, not far.
Barely a two-week walk.
472
00:35:20,912 --> 00:35:22,789
People sure do like stout here.
473
00:35:22,955 --> 00:35:24,832
- Next one's on me.
- No, thank you...
474
00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:27,919
I insist.
I know what you're thinking.
475
00:35:28,294 --> 00:35:31,339
"He's a Gaul, watch out,
they're all Womanizers."
476
00:35:31,506 --> 00:35:33,716
Well not me. I'm no womanizer.
477
00:35:34,926 --> 00:35:36,886
I'm just a guy who loves life.
478
00:35:37,053 --> 00:35:39,847
Life's magical,
timeless moments, you see?
479
00:35:40,014 --> 00:35:41,891
Here, getting to know each other.
480
00:35:42,058 --> 00:35:46,813
I'm full of energy like this town.
I want to live, to laugh, to cry.
481
00:35:46,979 --> 00:35:49,816
Yes, I'm a man who knows how to cry.
482
00:35:49,982 --> 00:35:51,776
I'm not ashamed to say I cry.
483
00:35:52,193 --> 00:35:53,778
I cry very often. Over nothing.
484
00:35:55,196 --> 00:35:56,447
Do you like men who cry?
485
00:35:57,865 --> 00:35:59,659
Not really.
486
00:36:09,544 --> 00:36:12,547
How's everything?
Is the barrel safe?
487
00:36:12,922 --> 00:36:14,924
- What?
- You've got some froth...
488
00:36:16,801 --> 00:36:18,594
So, what do we do now?
489
00:36:19,428 --> 00:36:20,721
Well,
490
00:36:21,347 --> 00:36:25,768
I suppose we could pay
a surprise visit to Ophelia.
491
00:36:26,102 --> 00:36:26,894
Who's Ophelia?
492
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:28,187
My fiancée.
493
00:36:33,192 --> 00:36:34,694
There's still some...
494
00:36:45,371 --> 00:36:48,583
I'd heard British chicks were dogs,
but she's hot.
495
00:36:53,546 --> 00:36:56,966
Yes, she is pretty.
That black dress really suits her.
496
00:37:04,473 --> 00:37:05,391
Jolitorax...
497
00:37:06,183 --> 00:37:07,768
What a jolly surprise.
498
00:37:07,935 --> 00:37:09,103
I'm frightfully happy too.
499
00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:12,189
But no effusiveness.
I'm on a mission for the Queen.
500
00:37:12,356 --> 00:37:15,526
Since I was in Londinium
I wanted you to meet...
501
00:37:15,693 --> 00:37:16,694
Goudurix. Cool.
502
00:37:18,571 --> 00:37:20,573
Okay you, calm down!
503
00:37:21,365 --> 00:37:23,868
She's his fiancée. Show some respect.
504
00:37:24,035 --> 00:37:26,746
- Forgive him, he's young.
- It's of no importance.
505
00:37:26,913 --> 00:37:28,372
Asterix. At your service.
506
00:37:29,665 --> 00:37:31,375
Pleased to meet you.
507
00:37:31,542 --> 00:37:32,793
Very pleased.
508
00:37:34,337 --> 00:37:36,047
- My friends are...
- Gauls.
509
00:37:36,213 --> 00:37:38,007
We guessed as much.
510
00:37:38,424 --> 00:37:39,300
By the accent?
511
00:37:39,717 --> 00:37:41,218
No, by the smell.
512
00:37:42,678 --> 00:37:45,848
Mother and Father are away,
but I insist you stay.
513
00:37:46,557 --> 00:37:50,186
Miss Macintosh and I
shall prepare a meal for you.
514
00:37:58,986 --> 00:38:01,656
The energy in this town is amazing.
515
00:38:01,822 --> 00:38:02,448
Oh, really?
516
00:38:02,615 --> 00:38:05,618
You really feel like
anything's possible here...
517
00:38:05,785 --> 00:38:08,037
You could meet fabulous people,
518
00:38:08,204 --> 00:38:09,538
exchange ideas,
519
00:38:09,705 --> 00:38:13,167
fall in love,
have intense but brief adventures...
520
00:38:14,251 --> 00:38:15,795
You know, all that.
521
00:38:17,213 --> 00:38:19,799
I hear you and your friend
have a little dog.
522
00:38:21,592 --> 00:38:22,718
You didn't bring it?
523
00:38:23,594 --> 00:38:24,679
No.
524
00:38:29,141 --> 00:38:30,726
What's this?
525
00:38:31,227 --> 00:38:34,689
Illegal Gauls
with a secret weapon in a barrel?
526
00:38:34,855 --> 00:38:37,817
Yes. We're arresting all Gaul residents.
527
00:38:37,984 --> 00:38:39,193
Women and children too.
528
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:40,569
We'll burn their houses down.
529
00:38:40,736 --> 00:38:43,155
- No. We need to find the barrel.
- But how?
530
00:38:43,322 --> 00:38:44,699
Use your heads...
531
00:38:44,865 --> 00:38:47,994
Where is the best place to hide a tree?
532
00:38:49,495 --> 00:38:50,204
A forest!
533
00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:54,875
So the best place
to hide a barrel would be...
534
00:38:56,752 --> 00:38:58,629
An inn!
535
00:38:59,046 --> 00:39:01,924
Search every cellar
of every inn in Londinium
536
00:39:02,091 --> 00:39:04,135
and confiscate every barrel!
537
00:39:07,430 --> 00:39:08,931
What about the tree?
538
00:39:09,390 --> 00:39:10,975
Find that barrel!
539
00:39:11,726 --> 00:39:16,022
I'll have you boiled
and served to the lions with mint sauce!
540
00:39:28,534 --> 00:39:30,202
I don't think she likes me.
541
00:39:30,369 --> 00:39:31,370
Who's that?
542
00:39:31,996 --> 00:39:34,373
Miss Makichtok. She doesn't like me.
543
00:39:34,540 --> 00:39:37,001
With her looks she shouldn't be picky.
544
00:39:42,548 --> 00:39:46,385
It doesn't show much
that you and Ophelia are engaged.
545
00:39:46,552 --> 00:39:48,429
I'd say it doesn't show at all.
546
00:39:48,971 --> 00:39:52,600
That's because we Britons
are sticklers for proprieties.
547
00:39:53,768 --> 00:39:55,102
A gentleman
548
00:39:55,269 --> 00:39:58,481
must never, under any circumstance,
compromise his fiancée
549
00:39:58,647 --> 00:40:01,567
by being too... how should I put it?
550
00:40:01,817 --> 00:40:03,235
Overbearing.
551
00:40:04,487 --> 00:40:09,909
Unescorted visits must be rare
and last only a fleeting moment.
552
00:40:12,119 --> 00:40:14,371
And when was your last one?
553
00:40:14,538 --> 00:40:15,372
Last year.
554
00:40:16,665 --> 00:40:18,000
I see.
555
00:40:18,334 --> 00:40:22,379
I say, when Ophelia
invited us to stay, I hesitated.
556
00:40:22,713 --> 00:40:25,758
But I'm glad
I had the audacity to accept.
557
00:40:26,759 --> 00:40:29,386
Would you have the audacity
to pass the salt?
558
00:40:31,597 --> 00:40:32,723
Sorry.
559
00:40:38,979 --> 00:40:41,148
You really like
Miss What's-Her-Face?
560
00:40:41,857 --> 00:40:44,401
Then give her a present.
It always works.
561
00:40:45,194 --> 00:40:46,695
That's a good idea.
562
00:40:48,030 --> 00:40:49,031
I know...
563
00:41:21,188 --> 00:41:23,274
In the name of Rome, open up!
564
00:41:27,153 --> 00:41:28,487
Search the inn!
565
00:41:56,390 --> 00:41:57,725
Legionaries!
566
00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:01,061
There's a secret weapon
in one of these barrels.
567
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:05,065
To find it, we will apply
methodology and rigour.
568
00:42:05,399 --> 00:42:07,151
You make a hole, you taste.
569
00:42:07,526 --> 00:42:10,070
If anything tastes suspicious,
let us know.
570
00:42:10,237 --> 00:42:11,864
Otherwise, mark the barrel
571
00:42:12,031 --> 00:42:15,242
and move on to the next.
Is that clear?
572
00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:16,493
On my command!
573
00:42:29,715 --> 00:42:30,841
Action!
574
00:42:45,231 --> 00:42:48,234
The rhododendrons
have come on nicely this year.
575
00:42:48,776 --> 00:42:49,610
Oh, really?
576
00:42:56,283 --> 00:42:58,118
The begonias too.
577
00:43:00,371 --> 00:43:02,331
But not the sunflowers.
578
00:43:04,041 --> 00:43:06,210
I'm terribly sorry to hear it.
579
00:43:36,573 --> 00:43:38,909
That must've taken ages to make.
580
00:43:39,076 --> 00:43:41,161
The Macintoshes have been working
581
00:43:41,787 --> 00:43:44,373
on this tapestry for five generations.
582
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,292
I see.
583
00:43:46,458 --> 00:43:48,502
When it's finished,
584
00:43:48,794 --> 00:43:51,463
it will be my family's pride and joy.
585
00:44:00,597 --> 00:44:04,143
The energy in this town
really is amazing...
586
00:44:07,396 --> 00:44:08,230
Sorry.
587
00:44:11,358 --> 00:44:12,943
Sorry to burst in on you.
588
00:44:13,110 --> 00:44:16,280
The Romans seized
the barrel of magic potion!
589
00:44:16,780 --> 00:44:18,073
If you want to find it,
590
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:20,534
it has "Relax" written on it.
591
00:44:58,322 --> 00:45:00,282
Ave, Claudius Lapsus, let me taste.
592
00:45:00,449 --> 00:45:01,700
No, it's my barrel.
593
00:45:01,867 --> 00:45:04,203
It's not yours, it's everybody's.
594
00:45:13,087 --> 00:45:14,338
Hey, you!
595
00:45:15,172 --> 00:45:16,548
Come here.
596
00:45:36,068 --> 00:45:38,320
- Do I knock him out?
- Yes, quietly.
597
00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:41,115
Obelix, quietly!
598
00:45:41,657 --> 00:45:43,117
I understood.
599
00:45:50,165 --> 00:45:51,750
Very good.
600
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:15,983
You're a swell pal.
601
00:46:17,067 --> 00:46:19,153
Come on, we've no time to lose.
602
00:46:27,619 --> 00:46:30,456
I can drink this,
I didn't fall into it.
603
00:46:41,508 --> 00:46:42,885
Over here.
604
00:46:46,972 --> 00:46:49,183
Take them all. We'll sort them later.
605
00:46:49,349 --> 00:46:50,976
Obelix, help us.
606
00:46:58,025 --> 00:46:59,318
I don't believe it.
607
00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:03,363
I just tasted a tiny bit.
Hardly at all.
608
00:47:07,367 --> 00:47:08,952
Like the great Caesar said,
609
00:47:09,119 --> 00:47:13,165
we are here to promote
the values of our grand civilisation.
610
00:47:13,749 --> 00:47:15,292
But we will not succeed
611
00:47:15,459 --> 00:47:17,711
if the natives perceive us as enemies.
612
00:47:17,878 --> 00:47:19,463
The Britons are proud.
613
00:47:19,630 --> 00:47:23,675
Treat them with courtesy.
Show them we are a great nation.
614
00:47:24,635 --> 00:47:27,221
Here's an opportunity to demonstrate.
615
00:47:27,888 --> 00:47:29,890
A jolly good day
616
00:47:30,265 --> 00:47:32,976
and all that sort of thing,
British friends.
617
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,731
You see? If we don't,
we have a fat chance.
618
00:47:38,232 --> 00:47:39,691
Who called me fat?
619
00:47:41,568 --> 00:47:42,528
Who called me fat?
620
00:47:44,530 --> 00:47:45,822
Who called me fat?
621
00:47:46,490 --> 00:47:47,324
Obelix!
622
00:47:47,491 --> 00:47:49,243
Goodness gracious.
623
00:47:54,039 --> 00:47:58,085
An abandoned cart...
A pure stroke of luck for a cart thief!
624
00:47:59,253 --> 00:48:01,922
Bravo, Obelix! Good job blending in.
625
00:48:06,468 --> 00:48:07,386
Run, Jolitorax!
626
00:48:08,679 --> 00:48:11,974
Sorry, Asterix, a gentleman never runs.
627
00:48:28,407 --> 00:48:30,450
Excuse me, you didn't see a...
628
00:48:30,617 --> 00:48:33,620
- You're a Gaul!
- Yes, but not from Lutetia.
629
00:48:33,787 --> 00:48:35,289
What're you doing here?
630
00:48:35,455 --> 00:48:37,332
Looking for a barrel.
Did you see...
631
00:48:37,499 --> 00:48:38,584
I love Gauls!
632
00:48:39,126 --> 00:48:41,628
You're so much more fun than Britons.
633
00:48:41,795 --> 00:48:42,963
Thanks... Oh really?
634
00:48:45,716 --> 00:48:49,094
You don't have a pigeonhole
where I could reach you?
635
00:49:02,190 --> 00:49:04,443
It's one of the Gauls.
636
00:49:04,943 --> 00:49:06,194
Pick him up!
637
00:49:15,829 --> 00:49:19,791
Sir Jolitorax!
Something unspeakable has happened.
638
00:49:19,958 --> 00:49:22,085
I say, calm down, Miss Macintosh.
639
00:49:22,252 --> 00:49:25,797
It's frightful!
Miss Ophelia has disappeared.
640
00:49:25,964 --> 00:49:27,424
Calm down, dear lady.
641
00:49:27,591 --> 00:49:29,760
And worse yet, with Goudurix!
642
00:49:31,386 --> 00:49:34,139
They wanted to take a stroll
on the beach.
643
00:49:34,389 --> 00:49:36,850
Naturally, I flatly refused.
644
00:49:37,017 --> 00:49:38,769
But that devil Goudurix
645
00:49:38,935 --> 00:49:41,313
stole a cart and...
646
00:49:42,939 --> 00:49:44,691
and the two of them ran off!
647
00:49:45,776 --> 00:49:48,570
Very well. I shall handle this.
648
00:49:52,949 --> 00:49:54,242
Which way did they go?
649
00:49:54,409 --> 00:49:55,911
That way.
650
00:50:18,975 --> 00:50:20,143
Oh, I'm awful.
651
00:50:20,310 --> 00:50:22,354
No, no. You're doing great.
652
00:50:24,398 --> 00:50:28,610
Why didn't you help them
search for the barrel of magic potion?
653
00:50:28,777 --> 00:50:30,696
You're my magic potion.
654
00:50:30,862 --> 00:50:32,155
How sweet of you.
655
00:50:32,322 --> 00:50:34,032
It's not sweet, it's true.
656
00:50:34,199 --> 00:50:37,035
Their potion has nothing to do
with strength.
657
00:50:37,202 --> 00:50:37,828
Really?
658
00:50:38,412 --> 00:50:40,205
Then what is strength about?
659
00:50:41,415 --> 00:50:42,040
This...
660
00:50:43,834 --> 00:50:45,293
That's not appropriate.
661
00:50:45,460 --> 00:50:49,339
You Brits are so uptight.
Chicks are easier in Lutetia.
662
00:50:49,506 --> 00:50:50,215
Really?
663
00:50:50,382 --> 00:50:53,635
You bet! They know kissing
isn't about being appropriate.
664
00:50:53,802 --> 00:50:56,555
It's about timing...
and this was the right time.
665
00:50:56,722 --> 00:50:58,348
But if you don't want to...
666
00:50:59,975 --> 00:51:01,143
Wait...
667
00:51:11,737 --> 00:51:13,113
It's a Gaul kiss.
668
00:51:16,032 --> 00:51:17,367
Come on, it's no big...
669
00:51:19,369 --> 00:51:21,997
- Are those Britons?
- They're not very big.
670
00:51:22,164 --> 00:51:24,458
Hiding behind me?
That's very cowardly.
671
00:51:24,624 --> 00:51:25,250
I don't care.
672
00:51:25,417 --> 00:51:29,296
We're looking for Caesar and his army.
Do you know where they are?
673
00:51:29,463 --> 00:51:30,422
I don't want to die!
674
00:51:30,589 --> 00:51:32,758
- Pull yourself together.
- I'm too afraid!
675
00:51:32,924 --> 00:51:35,385
I say, you're the champion of fear!
676
00:51:35,552 --> 00:51:37,387
Did you hear that, Yadutaf?
677
00:51:37,554 --> 00:51:40,182
Catch him, Tetedepiaf,
before he flies away.
678
00:51:45,812 --> 00:51:48,982
I'll bring him to camp.
Go to the nearest village,
679
00:51:49,149 --> 00:51:51,610
ask for Caesar
and then kill everyone.
680
00:51:51,777 --> 00:51:52,986
How do I find the village?
681
00:51:54,321 --> 00:51:55,405
She'll take you.
682
00:51:55,572 --> 00:51:58,909
- Then what do I do with her?
- You kill her too, stupid.
683
00:51:59,075 --> 00:52:00,952
Oh yeah, right.
684
00:52:38,198 --> 00:52:40,992
A jolly good day to you, foreign friend.
685
00:52:43,787 --> 00:52:46,331
Wait. First, we must agree on the rules.
686
00:52:46,873 --> 00:52:48,458
What rules?
687
00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:49,876
Okay, no rules.
688
00:53:00,011 --> 00:53:00,637
Thank you.
689
00:53:00,804 --> 00:53:04,224
It was nothing.
I needed some exercise anyhow.
690
00:53:05,058 --> 00:53:07,060
I hear you didn't go out alone.
691
00:53:07,227 --> 00:53:10,730
The Normans kidnapped Goudurix!
I'm very worried.
692
00:53:10,897 --> 00:53:12,315
Rightly so, my dear.
693
00:53:12,482 --> 00:53:15,193
The odds are
he's been turned into melba toast.
694
00:53:15,527 --> 00:53:16,278
How awful!
695
00:53:16,444 --> 00:53:18,113
Yes, it is, eh what!
696
00:53:18,947 --> 00:53:21,783
Well then, I suggest we go home.
697
00:53:22,701 --> 00:53:24,452
Your insensibility
698
00:53:24,619 --> 00:53:26,413
saddens me deeply.
699
00:53:26,997 --> 00:53:29,249
I too have reason to feel sad.
700
00:53:29,416 --> 00:53:32,377
But I do not offend you by blaming you.
701
00:53:35,338 --> 00:53:38,300
So be it!
I strayed from the righteous path.
702
00:53:39,301 --> 00:53:41,511
But how could I not?
703
00:53:41,928 --> 00:53:43,972
You're as tedious
as a winter's day
704
00:53:44,139 --> 00:53:46,016
and stiffer than Miss Macintosh.
705
00:53:46,182 --> 00:53:48,518
It took you six months to address me,
706
00:53:48,685 --> 00:53:50,353
one year to ask for my hand,
707
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,481
and we've barely exchanged
ten words since.
708
00:53:54,399 --> 00:53:56,109
When might I hope for
709
00:53:56,276 --> 00:53:58,028
a bit of company,
710
00:53:58,194 --> 00:54:00,739
perhaps even some human warmth?
711
00:54:00,906 --> 00:54:02,616
On my death bed?
712
00:54:05,035 --> 00:54:08,038
My conduct has been
that of a British gentleman.
713
00:54:08,204 --> 00:54:12,792
If this does not suit you,
then we were not meant for each other.
714
00:54:35,732 --> 00:54:36,858
What're you doing here?
715
00:54:37,025 --> 00:54:39,611
I was arrested during an ID check.
716
00:54:39,986 --> 00:54:42,197
I'll be deported on the next caravan.
717
00:54:44,157 --> 00:54:45,116
YOU!
718
00:54:45,992 --> 00:54:47,160
Come with me.
719
00:54:50,705 --> 00:54:51,665
Move it.
720
00:54:52,248 --> 00:54:52,916
Excuse me,
721
00:54:53,083 --> 00:54:56,544
may I have some water for my plant?
It needs it badly.
722
00:55:02,801 --> 00:55:04,344
Doesn't need it anymore.
723
00:55:25,490 --> 00:55:26,408
Why?
724
00:55:26,825 --> 00:55:27,534
Why what?
725
00:55:27,701 --> 00:55:29,619
Why are you always under my feet?
726
00:55:29,995 --> 00:55:33,540
Hey, Jules, every tale
has a good guy and a bad guy.
727
00:55:34,916 --> 00:55:36,292
And you're the bad guy?
728
00:55:36,459 --> 00:55:37,794
No, you're the bad guy.
729
00:55:37,961 --> 00:55:40,046
These are the adventures of Asterix,
not Caesar.
730
00:55:40,630 --> 00:55:43,383
The adventures of Asterix!
731
00:55:44,175 --> 00:55:46,594
See this? "The Gallic Wars."
732
00:55:47,012 --> 00:55:50,515
The adventures of Julius Caesar,
by Julius Caesar, in six volumes.
733
00:55:50,682 --> 00:55:53,476
That my friend, is History.
734
00:55:54,185 --> 00:55:56,563
Sounds megalomaniac to me.
735
00:55:57,272 --> 00:55:59,482
I don't think you fully realise
who I am.
736
00:56:00,025 --> 00:56:03,153
My reign will have such impact
that in 2,000 years
737
00:56:03,319 --> 00:56:06,906
people will say,
"We're in the year 2000 J.C."
738
00:56:09,659 --> 00:56:11,369
- But what have you done?
- Me?
739
00:56:11,536 --> 00:56:14,622
Yes, you with your smirk.
What's your claim to fame?
740
00:56:14,789 --> 00:56:16,666
I don't claim much.
741
00:56:17,083 --> 00:56:19,335
I just try to be a decent guy.
742
00:56:19,502 --> 00:56:20,754
I wake up happy.
743
00:56:21,463 --> 00:56:23,214
My pals and I help each other.
744
00:56:23,381 --> 00:56:24,841
We laugh, we argue.
745
00:56:25,008 --> 00:56:27,844
And every Sunday,
we eat a big wild boar together.
746
00:56:28,553 --> 00:56:30,096
You've sold out.
747
00:56:30,388 --> 00:56:31,556
No, I haven't.
748
00:56:31,723 --> 00:56:34,309
In my village, I'm very respected.
749
00:56:34,476 --> 00:56:36,394
- In your village?
- Yes.
750
00:56:37,979 --> 00:56:39,439
That doesn't thrill me.
751
00:56:40,899 --> 00:56:44,652
Listen, I have a proposal to make.
752
00:56:46,988 --> 00:56:49,157
Come and work for me.
753
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:53,411
Your mind united with my power...
754
00:56:53,870 --> 00:56:55,580
we'd make a smashing team.
755
00:56:56,706 --> 00:56:58,249
Why would I do that?
756
00:56:59,876 --> 00:57:01,211
Because I'm your father.
757
00:57:05,173 --> 00:57:06,132
No...
758
00:57:06,299 --> 00:57:09,302
You believed it! Yes, you did.
759
00:57:09,469 --> 00:57:11,012
You fell for it!
760
00:57:11,179 --> 00:57:12,597
Not at all.
761
00:57:13,807 --> 00:57:15,391
Rubbish.
762
00:57:15,558 --> 00:57:17,435
You're fighting the wrong battle.
763
00:57:17,602 --> 00:57:20,480
Defending the oppressed
is wasted sentimentality.
764
00:57:20,647 --> 00:57:23,149
It might flatter the ego,
but it's useless.
765
00:57:23,316 --> 00:57:27,028
You barely save one race
and another massacres them.
766
00:57:28,571 --> 00:57:32,408
You must be realistic and lucid.
There's no point.
767
00:57:33,076 --> 00:57:35,078
Besides these Britons are odd.
768
00:57:35,537 --> 00:57:37,539
They're playing Mr. Jolly now,
769
00:57:37,789 --> 00:57:42,210
but at the first chance, they'll
declare war on you for 100 years!
770
00:57:42,377 --> 00:57:44,087
Listen to me.
771
00:57:44,254 --> 00:57:47,132
You give me the barrel,
I finish my invasion,
772
00:57:47,298 --> 00:57:50,385
and we wipe out their civilisation.
No more hot water,
773
00:57:50,552 --> 00:57:53,596
no more boiled meat.
And we make them talk normally.
774
00:57:53,763 --> 00:57:56,057
Wouldn't that be a service to humanity?
775
00:57:57,308 --> 00:57:58,351
Yes.
776
00:58:00,562 --> 00:58:01,729
But no.
777
00:58:01,896 --> 00:58:02,772
Take him away.
778
00:58:02,939 --> 00:58:06,109
Torture him until he talks!
Enough! He wears me out.
779
00:58:19,831 --> 00:58:21,583
- He's awake!
- The champion's awake!
780
00:58:24,544 --> 00:58:26,838
The champion! The champion!
781
00:58:32,969 --> 00:58:34,929
Chief, it's the champion.
782
00:58:42,896 --> 00:58:44,230
Scare us.
783
00:58:45,106 --> 00:58:46,691
- Excuse me?
- Scare us!
784
00:58:48,818 --> 00:58:53,072
We travelled far to discover fear.
I demand that you teach us.
785
00:58:53,615 --> 00:58:55,575
Fear? Fear is...
786
00:58:55,992 --> 00:58:57,285
I don't know...
787
00:58:57,452 --> 00:59:00,997
You tremble, you sweat,
your teeth chatter,
788
00:59:01,289 --> 00:59:02,707
you get a stomach ache...
789
00:59:02,999 --> 00:59:05,376
It's the flu! Fear is the flu!
790
00:59:05,543 --> 00:59:06,920
How do you catch it?
791
00:59:07,086 --> 00:59:09,255
I caught it kissing my cousin Epitafe.
792
00:59:29,859 --> 00:59:34,030
For the last time, Norman,
I'm asking you...
793
00:59:34,197 --> 00:59:36,532
Where did they take Goudurix?
794
00:59:40,078 --> 00:59:43,998
My dear Ophelia,
I fear that isn't proper behaviour.
795
00:59:44,165 --> 00:59:48,211
Mr. Tetedepiaf,
though your presence here was not
796
00:59:48,378 --> 00:59:50,797
your choice, so to speak,
797
00:59:51,089 --> 00:59:55,468
we shall do everything
to ensure you have a pleasant stay.
798
00:59:55,635 --> 01:00:00,848
So please, if you have
any needs whatsoever, just ask us.
799
01:00:04,936 --> 01:00:08,982
You-want-me-give-something-you?
800
01:00:09,899 --> 01:00:10,525
Drink!
801
01:00:11,276 --> 01:00:13,945
I'm afraid I didn't hear correctly.
802
01:00:14,112 --> 01:00:16,322
I want drink! Give me!
803
01:00:17,115 --> 01:00:20,410
So many mistakes in so few words!
804
01:00:20,868 --> 01:00:23,913
Firstly, one does not "want" something,
805
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:25,081
one "hopes".
806
01:00:25,248 --> 01:00:27,125
Or at best, one "wishes".
807
01:00:27,292 --> 01:00:29,002
Secondly,
808
01:00:29,168 --> 01:00:32,422
we Britons are very fussy
about forms of address.
809
01:00:32,588 --> 01:00:34,924
Thirdly and last,
810
01:00:35,091 --> 01:00:38,344
it is customary,
when expressing a request,
811
01:00:38,511 --> 01:00:40,430
to add polite phrases.
812
01:00:50,273 --> 01:00:51,649
I'm thirsty!
813
01:00:52,859 --> 01:00:56,237
This time, very exceptionally,
814
01:00:56,404 --> 01:00:59,115
I shall show flexibility
815
01:00:59,282 --> 01:01:01,826
and give into your request.
816
01:01:05,288 --> 01:01:06,122
It's hot!
817
01:01:06,289 --> 01:01:08,875
By Odin,
you want to poison me, witch?
818
01:01:09,250 --> 01:01:10,585
You, you... Untie me!
819
01:01:11,252 --> 01:01:12,462
Untie me!
820
01:01:12,628 --> 01:01:14,547
By Odin, untie me!
821
01:01:15,048 --> 01:01:16,007
My dear Ophelia,
822
01:01:16,174 --> 01:01:19,302
I believe Mr. Tetedepiaf
would greatly benefit
823
01:01:19,469 --> 01:01:23,514
from a crash course in proper manners.
824
01:01:30,897 --> 01:01:32,857
If several gentlemen are seated
825
01:01:33,024 --> 01:01:35,234
and a lady enters the room,
826
01:01:35,401 --> 01:01:39,113
the gentlemen must immediately
get to their feet
827
01:01:39,697 --> 01:01:42,617
and wait for the lady
to invite them to sit.
828
01:01:42,784 --> 01:01:46,037
Either verbally or with a gentle nod.
829
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:48,289
Like this.
830
01:01:49,540 --> 01:01:51,626
If the lady wishes to sit down,
831
01:01:51,793 --> 01:01:55,588
one of the gentlemen,
the first one to her left, of course,
832
01:01:56,130 --> 01:01:58,549
must come and stand behind...
833
01:02:27,495 --> 01:02:30,790
So, Gaul, where's the barrel?
834
01:02:32,834 --> 01:02:35,128
Do you enjoy torturing people?
835
01:02:37,004 --> 01:02:40,383
I mean, is it a job you'd recommend
836
01:02:40,550 --> 01:02:41,759
to Young people?
837
01:02:41,926 --> 01:02:45,012
I'm serious,
one rarely gets to meet you people.
838
01:02:45,179 --> 01:02:47,640
And when you do,
it's usually all over.
839
01:02:49,100 --> 01:02:50,435
Where's the barrel?
840
01:02:52,019 --> 01:02:54,730
In your case, was it a vocation?
841
01:02:54,897 --> 01:02:57,150
A passion that became a profession?
842
01:02:57,316 --> 01:03:00,445
Or did a career counsellor orient you?
843
01:03:00,611 --> 01:03:04,657
Because it's obviously not a sideline,
you do a fine job.
844
01:03:04,824 --> 01:03:06,492
But then I thought,
845
01:03:06,659 --> 01:03:09,120
if you didn't choose it, why continue?
846
01:03:10,663 --> 01:03:12,081
Ok, ok!
847
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:14,041
I'll talk.
848
01:03:14,208 --> 01:03:15,668
I feel like talking now.
849
01:03:21,299 --> 01:03:22,550
I'm listening.
850
01:03:24,469 --> 01:03:27,388
What if we decided to call it quits?
851
01:03:27,555 --> 01:03:30,808
Why don't we preach
love and fraternity instead?
852
01:03:31,309 --> 01:03:32,894
Too bad for you, Gaul.
853
01:03:39,108 --> 01:03:40,026
Yes?
854
01:03:40,651 --> 01:03:41,652
Who is it?
855
01:03:45,656 --> 01:03:46,824
A jolly good day.
856
01:03:46,991 --> 01:03:49,285
I thought you'd never get here!
857
01:03:49,452 --> 01:03:51,120
Free me, I'm burning up.
858
01:03:53,539 --> 01:03:54,832
What're you waiting for?
859
01:03:54,999 --> 01:03:59,545
I'm thinking about what you said.
Each man for himself...
860
01:03:59,712 --> 01:04:01,088
Obelix...
861
01:04:03,174 --> 01:04:05,843
Maybe we should take a breather.
862
01:04:06,219 --> 01:04:07,637
This isn't funny.
863
01:04:07,803 --> 01:04:10,515
It's cruel of me
to bring up ancient history.
864
01:04:10,681 --> 01:04:13,684
Let's go.
We'll leave Asterix alone...
865
01:04:14,310 --> 01:04:15,561
You want an apology?
866
01:04:15,728 --> 01:04:17,647
Ok! But not like this.
867
01:04:18,105 --> 01:04:19,148
Why not?
868
01:04:19,482 --> 01:04:22,527
It'll mean nothing.
I'll have done it under duress.
869
01:04:22,693 --> 01:04:25,196
Free me,
and I'll apologise of my own accord.
870
01:04:32,995 --> 01:04:37,333
It's crazy,
even their cranks turn the Wrong way!
871
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:40,336
What about your apology?
872
01:04:42,338 --> 01:04:44,840
Goodbye, Pindepis.
Sorry about your plant.
873
01:04:45,007 --> 01:04:48,886
I kept the leaves. I'm sure
they'll continue bringing me good luck.
874
01:04:49,053 --> 01:04:51,264
Goodbye. And thanks again.
875
01:04:51,430 --> 01:04:52,765
Where's the barrel?
876
01:04:53,849 --> 01:04:55,017
Gone.
877
01:04:55,184 --> 01:04:57,103
Then we'd be wise to split up.
878
01:04:57,436 --> 01:05:00,106
I'll look for the barrel.
You, for Goudurix.
879
01:05:00,273 --> 01:05:01,691
Goudurix? Why Goudurix?
880
01:05:11,701 --> 01:05:13,744
You refuse to deliver your secret.
881
01:05:14,161 --> 01:05:15,997
No, I swear...
882
01:05:16,163 --> 01:05:19,584
We could cut him open to find his fear.
883
01:05:19,959 --> 01:05:21,168
Yeah. Cut him open.
884
01:05:22,086 --> 01:05:24,338
Cut him open! Cut him open!
885
01:05:25,798 --> 01:05:30,136
Enough fun and games.
Wake him up and take him to the cliff.
886
01:05:30,428 --> 01:05:33,055
I want to see a flight demonstration.
887
01:05:34,390 --> 01:05:35,516
Perfect.
888
01:05:36,350 --> 01:05:38,894
A cloud of milk
in your hot water, Mr. Tetedepiaf?
889
01:05:39,061 --> 01:05:40,563
Thank you, a spot.
890
01:05:40,980 --> 01:05:42,898
As you can see, Miss Macintosh
891
01:05:43,065 --> 01:05:46,527
has transformed Mr. Tetedepiaf
into a perfect gentleman.
892
01:05:46,902 --> 01:05:48,195
Unfortunately,
893
01:05:48,571 --> 01:05:51,449
he still refuses to say
where Goudurix was taken.
894
01:05:51,616 --> 01:05:53,659
Believe me when I say I'm sorry,
895
01:05:53,826 --> 01:05:57,538
but a gentleman never betrays
his companions-in-arms.
896
01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:05,087
We'll let him escape.
He'll lead us to his people.
897
01:06:07,506 --> 01:06:08,799
Miss Macintosh,
898
01:06:08,966 --> 01:06:12,303
could you come to the kitchen
with me for a minute?
899
01:06:20,269 --> 01:06:21,479
Say, Obelix...
900
01:06:22,188 --> 01:06:25,941
weren't we supposed to go
boar hunting in the forest?
901
01:06:27,443 --> 01:06:28,402
No, Why?
902
01:06:28,569 --> 01:06:30,279
Yes, I said to you,
903
01:06:30,988 --> 01:06:33,699
"Let's go boar hunting in the forest."
904
01:06:34,408 --> 01:06:37,203
Oh yes, of course!
Let's go to the forest!
905
01:06:37,370 --> 01:06:38,162
There you go.
906
01:06:38,329 --> 01:06:41,457
Yes, let's go boar hunting
in the forest!
907
01:06:42,124 --> 01:06:43,876
That's what I said.
908
01:06:44,210 --> 01:06:45,628
Ready to go?
909
01:06:45,795 --> 01:06:47,046
Where?
910
01:06:50,091 --> 01:06:53,260
What? I know it's for fake.
911
01:07:03,270 --> 01:07:04,563
What do you want?
912
01:07:06,065 --> 01:07:09,777
Excuse me for disturbing you,
but is that your cart?
913
01:07:10,486 --> 01:07:12,238
What do you care?
914
01:07:12,655 --> 01:07:15,700
It contained some barrels
that were stolen from me.
915
01:07:16,242 --> 01:07:17,034
And?
916
01:07:17,201 --> 01:07:21,080
And I believe their disappearance
is not news to you.
917
01:07:21,247 --> 01:07:25,209
Are you insinuating
that I look like a thief?
918
01:07:26,794 --> 01:07:27,420
Well...
919
01:07:29,714 --> 01:07:30,715
Yes.
920
01:07:35,678 --> 01:07:37,471
Are we going to the forest?
921
01:08:19,972 --> 01:08:22,475
Ok, I'll take care of it.
922
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:26,479
Have a seat, Mr. Tetedepiaf.
923
01:08:26,645 --> 01:08:28,522
I just wanted to know
924
01:08:28,689 --> 01:08:30,691
if you intended to stay for supper?
925
01:08:30,858 --> 01:08:32,860
Because if you did,
926
01:08:33,027 --> 01:08:36,489
I shall need to do
some extra grocery shopping.
927
01:08:38,449 --> 01:08:40,534
I would truly be delighted.
928
01:08:40,701 --> 01:08:42,953
Unfortunately, I have another date.
929
01:09:06,268 --> 01:09:08,103
I didn't quite get that.
930
01:09:08,270 --> 01:09:11,941
It's simple. I hinted that
he was not expected for supper
931
01:09:12,107 --> 01:09:15,653
and like a perfect gentleman,
he did not wish to abuse my hospitality
932
01:09:16,195 --> 01:09:18,072
and so he left.
933
01:09:18,239 --> 01:09:19,156
That's all.
934
01:09:19,490 --> 01:09:21,325
That's all.
935
01:09:29,542 --> 01:09:30,876
A jolly good day to you.
936
01:09:31,502 --> 01:09:32,962
Likewise.
937
01:09:39,510 --> 01:09:40,928
Oh no...
938
01:10:01,448 --> 01:10:02,575
No!
939
01:10:04,243 --> 01:10:07,413
No! I'll do anything you want!
940
01:10:07,580 --> 01:10:09,331
I'll learn Norman! Eat seal!
941
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:12,084
Dye my hair blond!
Don't throw me!
942
01:10:12,251 --> 01:10:13,294
Have mercy!
943
01:10:13,460 --> 01:10:16,672
- What's "mercy"?
- Another of their inventions.
944
01:10:18,340 --> 01:10:22,094
You fly down there, make a turn,
then land over there.
945
01:10:22,261 --> 01:10:24,138
Don't worry about the itinerary.
946
01:10:24,305 --> 01:10:25,514
It's all mapped out.
947
01:10:26,015 --> 01:10:27,433
Ok, go.
948
01:10:31,478 --> 01:10:32,563
No!
949
01:10:32,730 --> 01:10:33,480
Look!
950
01:10:34,732 --> 01:10:35,608
Tetedepiaf!
951
01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:47,620
A jolly good day to you, Chief.
952
01:10:47,786 --> 01:10:50,623
May this humble bouquet
touch your heart.
953
01:10:51,123 --> 01:10:52,374
In any case,
954
01:10:52,541 --> 01:10:54,209
I picked it with love.
955
01:10:58,797 --> 01:11:02,009
We're not here
to taste the local specialties.
956
01:11:02,259 --> 01:11:03,218
Where were you?
957
01:11:03,385 --> 01:11:05,387
I was a guest in a fine home
958
01:11:05,554 --> 01:11:08,390
where the hospitality
was irreproachable.
959
01:11:08,557 --> 01:11:09,642
But no matter...
960
01:11:10,017 --> 01:11:13,520
I'm unspeakably happy
to see you all again.
961
01:11:15,522 --> 01:11:16,982
You're right, no sentimentality.
962
01:11:19,234 --> 01:11:21,195
Okay, let's go...
963
01:11:22,738 --> 01:11:24,031
He's been bewitched.
964
01:11:24,198 --> 01:11:25,157
Bewitched!
965
01:11:26,825 --> 01:11:29,536
No, you're mistaken.
I wasn't bewitched,
966
01:11:29,703 --> 01:11:30,955
I was educated.
967
01:11:31,580 --> 01:11:32,289
Educated?
968
01:11:32,456 --> 01:11:34,083
Indeed. Educated.
969
01:11:34,708 --> 01:11:35,626
BY Who?
970
01:11:36,627 --> 01:11:37,378
By her...
971
01:11:40,839 --> 01:11:43,592
She'll educate us too!
Like Tetedepiaf!
972
01:11:45,386 --> 01:11:46,929
You there!
973
01:11:48,097 --> 01:11:50,432
Come here so I can punish you!
974
01:11:51,016 --> 01:11:52,643
What's happening to us?
975
01:11:52,810 --> 01:11:55,187
- My body's trembling!
- I'm sweating!
976
01:11:55,354 --> 01:11:56,480
I have a stomach ache!
977
01:11:56,647 --> 01:11:58,941
That means we're afraid!
978
01:12:03,153 --> 01:12:04,279
Follow me!
979
01:12:04,446 --> 01:12:07,449
Now that we've mastered fear,
we'll fly away.
980
01:12:13,372 --> 01:12:14,248
Hey you!
981
01:13:03,756 --> 01:13:05,340
Get back here!
982
01:13:05,507 --> 01:13:07,885
Savage! Brutish lout!
Moron!
983
01:13:08,594 --> 01:13:09,720
You and your people
984
01:13:09,887 --> 01:13:11,638
are backward beasts!
985
01:13:11,805 --> 01:13:15,559
Savages, vandals, pigs!
What am I saying?
986
01:13:15,726 --> 01:13:19,229
Bacon on legs
with cottage cheese brains!
987
01:13:21,607 --> 01:13:23,692
And all that sort of thing.
988
01:13:33,118 --> 01:13:36,997
I'm so hungry
I could eat my own stomach.
989
01:13:38,707 --> 01:13:40,667
How would you digest it?
990
01:13:40,834 --> 01:13:42,711
A new message from Jolitorax.
991
01:13:42,878 --> 01:13:45,923
Thank God!
I hope he'll soon be here.
992
01:13:46,090 --> 01:13:49,384
"I hope Her Majesty is well
and in good health."
993
01:13:49,551 --> 01:13:52,721
"The weather here is mild
with scattered showers,
994
01:13:52,888 --> 01:13:54,223
but nothing worrying."
995
01:13:55,057 --> 01:13:57,434
"Your faithful servant, Jolitorax."
996
01:13:58,685 --> 01:14:00,896
Send a message to Jolitorax.
997
01:14:01,063 --> 01:14:04,108
I want to know where that barrel is.
998
01:14:19,164 --> 01:14:20,874
Mr. Obelix...
999
01:14:21,416 --> 01:14:22,084
Yes?
1000
01:14:22,251 --> 01:14:26,171
Would you have the good grace
to forget what you saw and heard
1001
01:14:26,338 --> 01:14:27,673
by the cliff earlier?
1002
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:31,468
You can count on me.
I'll be as mute as a dolmen.
1003
01:14:32,469 --> 01:14:34,596
Thank you, Mr. Obelix.
1004
01:14:36,056 --> 01:14:39,434
It would seem
that you are a gentleman after all.
1005
01:14:42,855 --> 01:14:44,982
That's not enough! I need four!
1006
01:14:45,149 --> 01:14:46,400
One, two, three and four!
1007
01:14:46,733 --> 01:14:48,735
The 8th Legion arrives in six days.
1008
01:14:48,902 --> 01:14:51,738
Too long!
Tell them to step up the pace.
1009
01:14:52,030 --> 01:14:54,950
The men haven't slept
under a roof in weeks.
1010
01:14:55,117 --> 01:14:58,203
So what? This is the country.
Camping's fun, no?
1011
01:14:58,370 --> 01:15:01,665
A message from Langelus:
"Build fortification."
1012
01:15:01,832 --> 01:15:03,292
No time!
Let me talk to him!
1013
01:15:03,458 --> 01:15:05,460
Hello, Langelus?
1014
01:15:05,627 --> 01:15:06,753
Hello?
1015
01:15:08,255 --> 01:15:09,840
Lang... It doesn't work.
1016
01:15:11,175 --> 01:15:12,509
It doesn't work!
1017
01:15:57,012 --> 01:15:58,680
I'll never understand women.
1018
01:16:00,140 --> 01:16:02,351
If you don't look, you don't find.
1019
01:16:02,517 --> 01:16:04,686
But you can't look too hard either.
1020
01:16:04,853 --> 01:16:08,065
So you have to look without looking
1021
01:16:08,232 --> 01:16:10,400
while pretending not to look.
1022
01:16:11,818 --> 01:16:13,737
That's over my head.
1023
01:16:16,198 --> 01:16:17,699
What do you say?
1024
01:16:18,033 --> 01:16:19,159
I think women...
1025
01:16:19,326 --> 01:16:20,911
No, shut up.
1026
01:16:22,079 --> 01:16:23,288
I like it better.
1027
01:16:25,457 --> 01:16:26,333
Well?
1028
01:16:26,500 --> 01:16:28,543
I think I know where the barrel is.
1029
01:16:28,710 --> 01:16:32,589
It was sold to an innkeeper
who sold it to the Camulodunum team.
1030
01:16:32,756 --> 01:16:33,882
The team of what?
1031
01:16:34,049 --> 01:16:35,717
A typically British sport
1032
01:16:35,884 --> 01:16:39,179
where two teams of 15 players
fight over a bladder.
1033
01:16:39,513 --> 01:16:40,681
Sounds like fun.
1034
01:16:40,847 --> 01:16:43,350
Camulodunum is playing today.
1035
01:16:43,517 --> 01:16:45,560
The barrel's sure to be there.
1036
01:16:45,727 --> 01:16:47,479
I'll get Obelix and we're off.
1037
01:16:53,986 --> 01:16:55,821
I challenge you to a duel.
1038
01:16:57,197 --> 01:17:00,659
You have no idea
what I've been through. So just...
1039
01:17:01,576 --> 01:17:03,578
Take that sword and fight, coward!
1040
01:17:04,413 --> 01:17:05,956
Are you nuts? That hurt!
1041
01:17:06,123 --> 01:17:06,957
What's going on?
1042
01:17:07,457 --> 01:17:10,085
I fear this is a private matter.
1043
01:17:16,550 --> 01:17:18,510
I think he's using psychology.
1044
01:17:18,927 --> 01:17:21,138
- What if something happens?
- We'll explain.
1045
01:17:28,103 --> 01:17:29,062
Well?
1046
01:17:30,063 --> 01:17:32,274
We'll explain it.
1047
01:17:32,649 --> 01:17:34,860
Does your cowardice know no limits?
1048
01:17:35,319 --> 01:17:36,820
It's not cowardice!
1049
01:17:36,987 --> 01:17:40,532
Please,
don't claim your honour is at stake.
1050
01:17:40,699 --> 01:17:43,201
You merely wish
to appease your jealousy.
1051
01:17:43,618 --> 01:17:45,162
I think she's got a point.
1052
01:17:45,329 --> 01:17:47,581
You are prompt to criticise me again.
1053
01:17:47,748 --> 01:17:50,000
And you persist in shirking your duty.
1054
01:17:50,167 --> 01:17:52,586
- What do you mean?
- Seems obvious to me.
1055
01:17:53,837 --> 01:17:55,756
You really are too stupid.
1056
01:17:55,922 --> 01:17:57,924
So be it! Kill him!
1057
01:17:59,092 --> 01:18:02,804
But if you do, you shall lose
all credibility in my eyes.
1058
01:18:03,680 --> 01:18:07,184
True courage is not
killing a young fool in a duel...
1059
01:18:07,351 --> 01:18:09,478
It's daring to look a woman in the eye
1060
01:18:09,644 --> 01:18:12,272
and tell her your feelings.
1061
01:18:24,993 --> 01:18:28,080
Women, women, women...
1062
01:18:28,538 --> 01:18:31,666
Weak and disappointing creatures.
1063
01:18:34,002 --> 01:18:38,006
She's right, it's important
to express your feelings.
1064
01:18:38,173 --> 01:18:39,091
Really?
1065
01:18:39,257 --> 01:18:41,259
Yeah. If you love her, tell her.
1066
01:18:41,426 --> 01:18:43,303
Let it all hang out, old man.
1067
01:18:45,931 --> 01:18:47,307
Ophelia?
1068
01:18:53,355 --> 01:18:56,024
I wanted to tell you
about my feelings.
1069
01:19:00,695 --> 01:19:02,197
Miss Macintosh.
1070
01:19:04,866 --> 01:19:07,077
Jolly nice day, eh what?
1071
01:19:09,079 --> 01:19:12,082
I feel totally empty.
1072
01:19:12,374 --> 01:19:13,917
I have no energy.
1073
01:19:14,084 --> 01:19:16,837
I've encountered obstacles in the past,
1074
01:19:17,003 --> 01:19:19,923
but usually,
the desire to conquer wins out.
1075
01:19:20,090 --> 01:19:22,968
This time, my batteries are dead.
1076
01:19:23,593 --> 01:19:25,470
This desire to conquer...
1077
01:19:25,637 --> 01:19:27,639
What does it evoke?
1078
01:19:27,806 --> 01:19:30,684
Power and glory. I won't lie to you.
1079
01:19:30,851 --> 01:19:31,726
Power?
1080
01:19:32,853 --> 01:19:35,856
Dominating others. Subjugating them.
1081
01:19:36,022 --> 01:19:39,443
And also, I like it when people
are indebted towards me.
1082
01:19:40,068 --> 01:19:42,863
For example, I enjoy granting pardons.
1083
01:19:43,780 --> 01:19:47,284
When a condemned man
is about to be executed,
1084
01:19:47,451 --> 01:19:50,203
I show up at the last minute
and pardon him.
1085
01:19:50,370 --> 01:19:53,290
I like that a lot.
Yes, I like that a lot.
1086
01:19:53,457 --> 01:19:55,041
It's very pleasant.
1087
01:20:23,778 --> 01:20:25,030
What are the rules?
1088
01:20:25,197 --> 01:20:26,198
It's simple.
1089
01:20:26,364 --> 01:20:30,368
Each team must carry the bladder
over the other team's goal line.
1090
01:20:30,535 --> 01:20:32,454
Almost anything's allowed,
1091
01:20:32,621 --> 01:20:34,664
except the use of weapons.
1092
01:20:34,831 --> 01:20:37,167
Unless there's a prior agreement.
1093
01:20:42,339 --> 01:20:43,798
The stadium is too big.
1094
01:20:43,965 --> 01:20:46,218
We need a man at every exit.
1095
01:20:46,384 --> 01:20:48,053
Hey, I'm the one who decides.
1096
01:20:49,846 --> 01:20:52,474
The stadium is too big.
We'll change tactics.
1097
01:20:52,933 --> 01:20:54,392
You, you and you...
1098
01:20:54,726 --> 01:20:56,061
watch the other exits.
1099
01:20:56,228 --> 01:20:57,938
You, go for reinforcements.
1100
01:20:58,563 --> 01:21:00,190
Excellent idea!
1101
01:21:20,293 --> 01:21:21,586
Look! What's he doing?
1102
01:21:27,551 --> 01:21:28,802
You're out!
1103
01:21:29,719 --> 01:21:31,763
That is not a gentleman.
1104
01:21:54,452 --> 01:21:55,954
This is great.
1105
01:22:20,437 --> 01:22:23,273
That's the magic potion
or some very good wine.
1106
01:22:38,580 --> 01:22:41,124
We've been through hard times.
1107
01:22:41,875 --> 01:22:44,961
But today,
unless the sky falls on our heads...
1108
01:22:45,128 --> 01:22:46,838
- What's that noise?
- What?
1109
01:22:47,005 --> 01:22:49,215
I said, what's that whistling?
1110
01:22:52,636 --> 01:22:53,303
Oh no...
1111
01:22:57,474 --> 01:23:01,353
I'm tired. I'm so tired.
1112
01:23:04,689 --> 01:23:07,150
Excuse me. This barrel is ours,
we'd like it back.
1113
01:23:07,317 --> 01:23:08,652
In the name of Rome!
1114
01:23:08,818 --> 01:23:10,362
I requisition that barrel.
1115
01:23:10,695 --> 01:23:12,113
Take the barrel and run.
1116
01:23:14,866 --> 01:23:16,326
It's my barrel.
1117
01:23:16,868 --> 01:23:18,119
Let go!
1118
01:23:22,540 --> 01:23:23,833
Let's go.
1119
01:23:28,088 --> 01:23:29,214
Halt!
1120
01:23:29,881 --> 01:23:31,257
In the name of Rome!
1121
01:23:31,424 --> 01:23:32,133
Halt!
1122
01:23:38,139 --> 01:23:40,517
- Give me the bladder.
- No, I want to score.
1123
01:23:52,070 --> 01:23:53,321
Take to the river!
1124
01:23:57,200 --> 01:23:58,410
Charge!
1125
01:23:59,494 --> 01:24:01,037
Catch them!
1126
01:24:33,737 --> 01:24:34,487
This is no good.
1127
01:25:03,391 --> 01:25:04,601
Pindepis?
1128
01:25:05,643 --> 01:25:08,146
- What're you doing here?
- The Romans recaptured me.
1129
01:25:08,313 --> 01:25:11,733
They forced me to join their army.
1130
01:25:12,066 --> 01:25:14,152
Take that off and come with us.
1131
01:25:14,319 --> 01:25:16,654
Ok, and now what?
1132
01:25:16,821 --> 01:25:19,324
We break the bad news to the Queen.
1133
01:25:19,491 --> 01:25:21,159
Let us waste no time.
1134
01:25:21,326 --> 01:25:22,535
Not me.
1135
01:25:22,827 --> 01:25:24,454
What do you mean "not me"?
1136
01:25:25,538 --> 01:25:29,542
I promised Miss Macintosh
I'd attend a hot water party
1137
01:25:29,709 --> 01:25:31,294
with her girlfriends.
1138
01:25:31,628 --> 01:25:33,379
- You're joking.
- No.
1139
01:25:33,546 --> 01:25:36,549
I promised.
And a gentleman honours his promises.
1140
01:25:36,925 --> 01:25:38,718
That's enough, Obelix.
1141
01:25:38,885 --> 01:25:42,597
I recall we're on a mission.
That's your duty!
1142
01:25:42,764 --> 01:25:47,352
You cannot understand the sentiments
that bind Miss Macintosh and me.
1143
01:25:50,230 --> 01:25:51,898
Oh, I see!
1144
01:25:52,065 --> 01:25:55,693
Sire has sentiments now, does he?
1145
01:25:55,860 --> 01:25:58,196
Sire has become a gentleman?
1146
01:26:00,365 --> 01:26:02,033
You know what I think?
1147
01:26:03,827 --> 01:26:04,869
You're pathetic.
1148
01:26:06,287 --> 01:26:08,081
Pathetic and grotesque.
1149
01:26:09,457 --> 01:26:10,083
Very well.
1150
01:26:13,253 --> 01:26:14,379
Obelix!
1151
01:26:15,213 --> 01:26:17,131
I'll take care of this.
1152
01:26:17,298 --> 01:26:19,175
Obelix... Wait!
1153
01:26:39,028 --> 01:26:41,114
I think he really is angry.
1154
01:26:50,331 --> 01:26:51,374
This looks like doomsday.
1155
01:26:51,541 --> 01:26:55,003
It would seem that the siege
has been trying, eh what?
1156
01:26:55,169 --> 01:26:57,922
We can't tell them
we have no magic potion!
1157
01:26:58,089 --> 01:26:59,424
Calm down, Goudurix.
1158
01:27:00,008 --> 01:27:01,175
Very funny.
1159
01:27:01,342 --> 01:27:03,595
They'll either commit suicide
or lynch us.
1160
01:27:03,761 --> 01:27:07,891
Gentlemen, I'm happy
you are amongst us at last.
1161
01:27:08,057 --> 01:27:10,226
I'm impatient to see the effects
1162
01:27:10,393 --> 01:27:12,437
of your famous magic potion.
1163
01:27:17,901 --> 01:27:21,571
In regard to the magic potion,
Your Majesty...
1164
01:27:21,863 --> 01:27:25,867
We brought back a large quantity
in a barrel...
1165
01:27:28,119 --> 01:27:30,121
which is currently...
1166
01:27:30,288 --> 01:27:32,123
at the bottom of the Thames.
1167
01:27:35,710 --> 01:27:37,587
But it doesn't matter, Your Majesty.
1168
01:27:37,754 --> 01:27:38,421
Oh really?
1169
01:27:39,213 --> 01:27:39,839
Oh really?
1170
01:27:40,006 --> 01:27:41,257
Oh really?
1171
01:27:41,424 --> 01:27:45,720
I have the ingredients to make enough
for the entire village.
1172
01:27:45,887 --> 01:27:48,431
What jolly good news.
You almost scared me.
1173
01:27:50,350 --> 01:27:55,563
If you would kindly have a large
cauldron of boiling water prepared...
1174
01:27:58,650 --> 01:28:00,902
I admit I do not understand.
1175
01:28:01,277 --> 01:28:03,321
We have to fake it.
1176
01:28:03,696 --> 01:28:04,572
Pindepis...
1177
01:28:04,739 --> 01:28:07,450
How much of your plant
do you have left?
1178
01:28:10,328 --> 01:28:10,995
This much.
1179
01:28:12,038 --> 01:28:13,623
I need it.
1180
01:28:16,834 --> 01:28:17,919
This is all I have.
1181
01:28:18,753 --> 01:28:19,796
I know.
1182
01:28:26,135 --> 01:28:27,804
So...
1183
01:28:27,971 --> 01:28:32,558
I hear you are endowed
with exceptional strength, Mr. Obelix.
1184
01:28:33,851 --> 01:28:37,146
I try to keep myself in shape,
nothing more.
1185
01:28:37,313 --> 01:28:38,398
Do YOU play a sport?
1186
01:28:38,564 --> 01:28:40,566
Our boys start sports very young.
1187
01:28:40,733 --> 01:28:42,485
It fortifies them.
1188
01:28:42,652 --> 01:28:45,655
More important,
it instils a sense of camaraderie.
1189
01:28:46,114 --> 01:28:49,659
Personally, I think that friendship
1190
01:28:49,826 --> 01:28:52,954
is by far the strongest bond
between two people.
1191
01:28:53,287 --> 01:28:55,707
What do you think, Mr. Obelix?
1192
01:29:00,003 --> 01:29:04,424
Our friend would like to know
whether you think that friendship
1193
01:29:04,590 --> 01:29:07,135
is the strongest bond
between two people?
1194
01:29:17,020 --> 01:29:18,354
Asterix...
1195
01:29:31,909 --> 01:29:33,828
Once again,
1196
01:29:33,995 --> 01:29:36,622
Roman discipline triumphs
over barbarian chaos.
1197
01:29:38,624 --> 01:29:41,044
The fanatical Gaul commando squad,
1198
01:29:41,210 --> 01:29:44,630
who underhandedly tried to rally
the British rebels,
1199
01:29:44,797 --> 01:29:46,090
has been wiped out.
1200
01:29:46,257 --> 01:29:48,843
And their so-called
secret weapon destroyed!
1201
01:29:50,011 --> 01:29:51,637
The time has come
1202
01:29:51,804 --> 01:29:54,474
to wipe out the terrorist village!
1203
01:30:26,464 --> 01:30:27,131
It's ready.
1204
01:30:27,882 --> 01:30:31,219
I say, it's far simpler than I thought.
1205
01:30:35,139 --> 01:30:36,432
Gentlemen, please...
1206
01:30:43,189 --> 01:30:44,315
Excellent
1207
01:30:45,108 --> 01:30:48,611
Very invigorating.
I'm already feeling the effects.
1208
01:30:48,778 --> 01:30:51,447
Might I have a cloud of milk
with my potion?
1209
01:30:52,824 --> 01:30:54,826
Attack formation!
1210
01:30:54,992 --> 01:30:56,452
Attack formation!
1211
01:31:15,638 --> 01:31:18,182
Forward... march!
1212
01:31:42,456 --> 01:31:44,333
Legions! Halt!
1213
01:31:46,919 --> 01:31:47,879
Ave, Roman.
1214
01:31:48,462 --> 01:31:51,549
Hey, I just wanted to play fair
as the Brits say...
1215
01:31:51,716 --> 01:31:54,719
We have the magic potion,
so you can still surrender.
1216
01:31:55,678 --> 01:31:58,389
I know him!
He's one of the invincible Gauls.
1217
01:31:58,806 --> 01:32:01,017
Yes, I'm afraid so.
1218
01:32:02,059 --> 01:32:03,561
What are they doing?
1219
01:32:03,853 --> 01:32:05,313
What are they doing!
1220
01:32:07,440 --> 01:32:09,025
Fall in!
1221
01:32:09,192 --> 01:32:10,651
Fall in!
1222
01:32:10,818 --> 01:32:13,029
- I thought they were dead!
- He's alive.
1223
01:32:13,196 --> 01:32:16,657
- His fat friend can't be far.
- Hush, he's super-sensitive.
1224
01:32:16,824 --> 01:32:20,119
If the Britons have the magic potion,
we're goners.
1225
01:32:23,414 --> 01:32:25,124
I think they're ripe. Ready?
1226
01:32:28,211 --> 01:32:31,172
I say. Your friend doesn't look well.
1227
01:32:34,175 --> 01:32:34,800
Excuse me.
1228
01:32:36,344 --> 01:32:37,511
I'll be right back.
1229
01:32:38,137 --> 01:32:39,222
Something wrong?
1230
01:32:39,388 --> 01:32:42,642
I was thinking,
maybe I'll just wait for you here.
1231
01:32:43,809 --> 01:32:45,978
- Goudurix...
- They'll slaughter us!
1232
01:32:46,145 --> 01:32:50,399
Listen to me. What we gave them
wasn't magic potion, it was hope,
1233
01:32:50,566 --> 01:32:52,109
and that's all they have.
1234
01:32:52,276 --> 01:32:55,905
If we lose heart, so will they.
Is that what you want?
1235
01:33:05,456 --> 01:33:08,042
The time has come to become a man.
1236
01:33:10,211 --> 01:33:12,088
Afterwards, it'll be too late.
1237
01:33:33,234 --> 01:33:34,527
Stay in formation!
1238
01:33:39,699 --> 01:33:40,825
They'll slaughter us!
1239
01:33:47,164 --> 01:33:48,207
Close ranks!
1240
01:33:50,543 --> 01:33:52,044
Close ranks!
1241
01:34:23,701 --> 01:34:26,912
They don't have magic powers!
They're bluffing.
1242
01:34:27,079 --> 01:34:28,789
They don't have magic powers.
1243
01:34:28,956 --> 01:34:31,292
Close ranks! Attack!
1244
01:34:31,667 --> 01:34:32,960
They're bluffing!
1245
01:34:57,401 --> 01:34:58,652
What the...
1246
01:35:00,196 --> 01:35:01,113
What is that?
1247
01:35:08,913 --> 01:35:10,039
Obelix?
1248
01:35:13,042 --> 01:35:14,168
Obelix!
1249
01:35:14,335 --> 01:35:15,503
Wait.
1250
01:35:16,754 --> 01:35:20,800
One, you have no right
to decide what's good for me.
1251
01:35:22,510 --> 01:35:24,637
I want that to be very clear.
1252
01:35:25,596 --> 01:35:26,931
As for what you said,
1253
01:35:27,098 --> 01:35:30,393
that I'm a burden...
that you'd sacrificed everything...
1254
01:35:30,559 --> 01:35:31,519
Come on, Obelix...
1255
01:35:31,685 --> 01:35:33,104
I've thought about it.
1256
01:35:33,270 --> 01:35:34,605
It's not a sacrifice.
1257
01:35:34,772 --> 01:35:37,858
A sacrifice is when
you get nothing in return.
1258
01:35:38,025 --> 01:35:39,652
But you can't say that.
1259
01:35:39,819 --> 01:35:41,529
Because you know what you get?
1260
01:35:43,322 --> 01:35:44,615
You get a friend.
1261
01:35:51,080 --> 01:35:52,331
Obelix...
1262
01:35:52,498 --> 01:35:54,625
I'm ashamed about what happened.
1263
01:35:59,088 --> 01:36:01,006
Nothing happened.
1264
01:36:01,590 --> 01:36:02,675
Nothing happened.
1265
01:36:08,764 --> 01:36:11,183
I'm terribly sorry to interrupt...
1266
01:36:11,350 --> 01:36:14,311
But what do we do about them?
1267
01:36:46,010 --> 01:36:46,635
No!
1268
01:37:03,277 --> 01:37:04,612
I'm here!
1269
01:37:31,096 --> 01:37:34,058
That's that.
Let's wrap it up and go home.
1270
01:37:42,316 --> 01:37:47,029
My dear Gauls,
all Britain is grateful to you.
1271
01:37:56,622 --> 01:37:58,040
How cool. Thanks.
1272
01:38:09,510 --> 01:38:10,511
Thank you, Your Majesty.
1273
01:38:10,678 --> 01:38:13,639
But you owe your victory
to your courage alone.
1274
01:38:13,806 --> 01:38:15,558
It wasn't magic potion.
1275
01:38:16,141 --> 01:38:17,560
I guessed as much.
1276
01:38:17,726 --> 01:38:19,603
However, I tasted the concoction
1277
01:38:20,020 --> 01:38:21,480
and found it delicious.
1278
01:38:21,647 --> 01:38:22,773
What plant was it?
1279
01:38:25,276 --> 01:38:28,779
It's a plant that is widely used
in my country.
1280
01:38:28,946 --> 01:38:31,490
We call it "tea".
1281
01:38:32,908 --> 01:38:37,288
Well then, as of today,
I declare tea our national beverage.
1282
01:38:40,666 --> 01:38:43,544
Mr. Pindepis,
I wish to order 4,000 tons.
1283
01:38:48,674 --> 01:38:49,842
Thank you.
1284
01:38:51,385 --> 01:38:53,095
And you, Sir Jolitorax,
1285
01:38:53,470 --> 01:38:56,765
for your courage, for your valour,
1286
01:38:57,266 --> 01:38:59,893
and most importantly,
1287
01:39:00,060 --> 01:39:02,646
for promoting
the values of our great land,
1288
01:39:02,813 --> 01:39:04,857
I name you
1289
01:39:05,316 --> 01:39:07,568
Peer of the Realm.
1290
01:39:12,740 --> 01:39:14,325
Thank you, Your Majesty.
1291
01:39:14,491 --> 01:39:16,118
I would like, in turn,
1292
01:39:16,368 --> 01:39:19,288
to pay homage to the woman
who inspired me
1293
01:39:19,455 --> 01:39:21,874
throughout this long adventure...
1294
01:39:22,791 --> 01:39:25,628
Whose exceptional
and plentiful qualities
1295
01:39:26,295 --> 01:39:28,213
command my admiration
1296
01:39:29,048 --> 01:39:30,424
and my respect...
1297
01:39:30,591 --> 01:39:34,553
Whose radiant beauty
dazzles so brightly
1298
01:39:34,720 --> 01:39:36,722
that she could, all alone,
1299
01:39:36,889 --> 01:39:40,434
serve as a beacon
to ships lost in the fog...
1300
01:39:40,601 --> 01:39:42,353
Whose graceful figure
1301
01:39:42,519 --> 01:39:45,272
promises voluptuous delights...
1302
01:39:45,439 --> 01:39:47,149
and whose sensual lips
1303
01:39:47,858 --> 01:39:50,569
cry out for passionate embraces.
1304
01:39:50,736 --> 01:39:55,157
She who is my joy, my folly,
she who makes my head spin...
1305
01:39:56,241 --> 01:39:59,995
Ophelia, I waited far too long
to make this declaration,
1306
01:40:00,162 --> 01:40:02,706
I love you.
Nothing would make me happier...
1307
01:40:02,873 --> 01:40:05,167
Oh, shut up and kiss me!
1308
01:40:33,612 --> 01:40:35,280
I'm in for trouble.
1309
01:40:40,285 --> 01:40:41,704
Mr. Obelix!
1310
01:40:43,038 --> 01:40:43,997
Yes?
1311
01:40:45,124 --> 01:40:48,544
When a gentleman
abandons a lady, slap bang
1312
01:40:48,711 --> 01:40:51,088
in the midst of a social event,
1313
01:40:51,547 --> 01:40:56,301
humiliating the lady and inflicting
the mockery of her friends...
1314
01:40:56,468 --> 01:41:01,724
the affront is so great that he cannot
be considered a gentleman...
1315
01:41:03,934 --> 01:41:05,185
Unless,
1316
01:41:05,352 --> 01:41:08,522
of course,
Her Majesty's safety is at stake.
1317
01:41:08,689 --> 01:41:11,150
In that case, and in that case only,
1318
01:41:11,316 --> 01:41:16,071
he can, very exceptionally, be excused.
1319
01:41:16,780 --> 01:41:17,781
Thank you.
1320
01:41:18,240 --> 01:41:19,575
But...
1321
01:41:20,534 --> 01:41:24,913
I think that deep down, I'm a real Gaul.
1322
01:41:25,080 --> 01:41:26,707
And I a real Briton.
1323
01:41:28,125 --> 01:41:32,337
The time has come
for us to say farewell, Obelix.
1324
01:41:32,838 --> 01:41:35,799
And in the name of everything
we have shared,
1325
01:41:37,801 --> 01:41:39,052
I shall lay aside
1326
01:41:39,803 --> 01:41:42,139
the principles of my education
1327
01:41:42,306 --> 01:41:44,808
and allow myself to...
1328
01:41:46,226 --> 01:41:47,603
shake your hand.
1329
01:42:05,871 --> 01:42:07,080
It's...
1330
01:42:12,085 --> 01:42:16,340
In any case,
I'll never be the same again.
1331
01:42:17,216 --> 01:42:20,969
You'll see, Asterix,
you'll fall in love one clay too.
1332
01:42:23,514 --> 01:42:26,683
Ok, ok. I've made lots of contacts.
1333
01:42:31,063 --> 01:42:32,356
I'm so happy-
1334
01:42:35,943 --> 01:42:37,611
It's extraordinary.
1335
01:42:50,541 --> 01:42:53,752
The energy here is amazing,
don't you think?
1336
01:42:56,004 --> 01:42:56,964
Excuse me?
1337
01:42:57,589 --> 01:43:00,843
I said, the energy here is amazing.
1338
01:43:09,726 --> 01:43:11,353
Forgive me, O Caesar,
1339
01:43:11,520 --> 01:43:15,190
but for the end of the chapter
on the British campaign...
1340
01:43:15,983 --> 01:43:17,192
what should I write?
1341
01:43:18,610 --> 01:43:21,697
After several weeks of siege,
1342
01:43:22,447 --> 01:43:26,994
the Queen of the Britons
and her soldiers surrendered to Caesar,
1343
01:43:27,160 --> 01:43:30,205
who, showing magnanimity,
spared their lives
1344
01:43:30,372 --> 01:43:32,749
and sailed onto new conquests.
1345
01:43:33,333 --> 01:43:34,042
But...
1346
01:43:34,209 --> 01:43:35,794
What? Is something wrong?
1347
01:43:35,961 --> 01:43:37,045
No, no...
1348
01:43:38,380 --> 01:43:40,757
"The Adventures of Asterix..."
1349
01:43:41,675 --> 01:43:43,010
Now I've heard it all.
1350
01:43:43,034 --> 01:43:45,034